She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
