on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
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