Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
