Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
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