never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
