just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
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