yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
