Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
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