Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
cat food counts as protein by the way
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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