Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
