Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
