I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
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