My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize