just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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