ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
