I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
My bed smells like the plague
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
