Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
