K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
