I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
