Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Randomize
