they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
