before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
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