We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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