She's JV to your varsity
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
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