Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
My vagina just recognized that song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Randomize