So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
You made out with two different species that night
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
