apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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