She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize