so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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