ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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