the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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