her vagine was all disorganized.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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