I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
