Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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