office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
