We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
