I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
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