I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
