theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
