Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(937): View more from Ohio

Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea

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(606): View more from Kentucky

I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM

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(770): View more from Georgia

Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.

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(514): View more from Quebec

she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce

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(847): View more from Illinois

He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.

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(734): View more from Michigan

In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.

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(250): View more from British Columbia

Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.

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(410): View more from Maryland

Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?

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