Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Randomize
