i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
