i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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