my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
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