But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
