she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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