I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize