I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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