I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize
