i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
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