She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
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