just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
