Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize