you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
