his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
