Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
