Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
