UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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