Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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