I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
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