I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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