Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
