OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
