the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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