I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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