sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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