Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
someone get that fucking seahorse.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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