it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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