She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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